Thursday, December 8th, 2016

Boston Adventure: Riding the #1 Bus

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People visiting Boston always ask me about unique experiences — places you wouldn’t find in a guidebook.

You will NEVER find this one in a guidebook: riding the #1 bus.

The #1 bus stretches along Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge and Boston, from Harvard Square to Roxbury.  And on that bus, you will find some of Boston’s strangest characters.

Like the old Rastafarian with a cane who drunkenly sings Aretha Franklin songs while swaying back and forth.  Like the homeless lady with wild eyes who tells everyone she sees that she’s writing the sequel to No Country for Old Men.  Like the Harvard freshmen who invited me to an MIT frat party.  (I told them I was 19.  They believed me.  I went to the party and we danced to Miley Cyrus.)

On my 25th birthday this past summer, I knew I had to show my friends how fun the #1 bus could be.  I planned a night — dinner and drinks at Cuchi Cuchi and dancing at Saint — where the #1 bus would be an integral part of our journey.

(Yes, my friends get me Red Bull for my birthday.)

After getting on at Central Square and riding a few stops, I lamented to my friends how disappointed I was that there weren’t any entertaining weirdos on the bus.

“What do you mean?” bellowed a voice behind me.  “I’m a creep-a-leep!”

“Are you really?” I asked as I turned around.

“They call me Big Sexy!” he roared.

Big Sexy and me!

“So, Big Sexy, what makes you a creep-a-leep?” I asked.

“All the ladies love me! Nobody can get enough of Big Sexy!”

We started cracking up.

“But you know what the worst STD is?” he continued.

“What?”

“CHILD SUPPORT!”

We all burst out laughing.

“Look at me!  I can’t afford protection!  I gotta use M&M bags, Dorito bags…”

We were guffawing.

We got off the bus shortly thereafter, and Big Sexy temporarily followed us, then went on to buy some Doritos at Symphony Mart.  I don’t want to know what he was doing later!

Thank you, Big Sexy, for making my 25th birthday an adventurous one — and for proving that you’ll always be entertained on the #1 bus!

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