Saturday, May 27th, 2017

Top 5 Locations for Jersey Shore: Season Two!


Fist pump to this good news: Jersey Shore has been renewed for a second season!

But where will it take place?  MTV reportedly wants to film during the winter for a premiere next summer.  South Beach, Miami, is looking like the most viable choice.

But South Beach is too classy for this crew!  They should head to the second-most Jersey-like location in North America!

Read on for the top five locations for Jersey Shore: Season 2.


5) Panama City, Florida. The capital of the so-called Redneck Riviera and one of the top spring break destinations in the U.S., Panama City is to Florida what Seaside Heights is to New Jersey.  Let’s hope that Ronnie has learned some anger management skills since Season One, since I can already predict a Jersey vs. Alabama fistfight.


4) Venice Beach, California. We know how much Snooki and JWoww love the juiceheads of New Jersey — just imagine the two of them picking up the bodybuilders of Venice Beach!  But the possibilities for the guys are even better.  PLEASE, PLEASE let The Situation pick up a lady bodybuilder.  Or the old lady who dances in a thong.

3) Cancun, Mexico. Cancun, in my opinion, is essentially Vegas without the gambling revenues — clubs on every corner, but without the expensive decor.  Plus, there are shot girls selling tequila shots just about everywhere you go.  Senor Frog’s, with its dance contests, waterslide, and shots poured into your mouth while doing a conga line, would be the new Karma!

2) Nantucket, Massachusetts. On the other hand, if the show wanted to go for something completely different, why not strand the Jersey Shore crew with the bluebloods of New England?  Snooki sailing after a windsurfing John Kerry, Pauly D and the Situation trying to pick up uptight rich cougars…I know a lot of people who would pay to see that.

1) South Padre Island, Texas. I missed spring break in college, opting instead for a trip to Italy with the glee club, but my friend Beth and I decided to make up for it with a one-night visit to South Padre Island when she was living in South Texas.

South Padre Island is NOT a luxury destination.  Much of it is falling apart.  Cheesy resorts like the Caribbean-style Bahia Mar, complete with dyed-blue water, dominate the landscape.  Concert headliners include Vanilla Ice.  Most of the spring breakers are frat boys and sorority girls from the Midwest and South.  (Leave it to me and Beth to find the engineering majors from Cornell.)

Huge party scene?  Check.  Skanky girls and guys?  Check.  Awesomely bad decor?  CHECK.  South Padre sounds quite a bit like Seaside Heights, New Jersey, don’t you think?

Well, you might know better than me.  Where do you think Jersey Shore: Season 2 should take place?

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